Hey there gorgeous/handsome, (pick the one that applies), welcome to my web site. If you googled me, which sounds obscene but actually felt quite good, then you probably already know that I do stand-up comedy. But if you aimlessly stumbled onto this website while stoned or drunkenly hitting the wrong key, then just so you know not only am I a stand-up comedian, but I also wrote, directed, produced and appeared in an independent film comedy called, A Lousy 10 Grand. (I also co-wrote the title song, The Middle Class Blues with Glenn and Emily Smith.)

That means that I’m what’s known in Hollywood speak as, a hyphenate. As in:

STAND-UP COMEDIAN-WRITER-ACTOR-DIRECTOR-PRODUCER-SONG WRITER

Since I used some of my own money to make the film, there are those in Hollywood that think I should add another hyphenate: schmuck. But when you’re passionate about something and willing take a leap of faith, I would instead add: It Took Balls. Bollocks if you’re from the U.K.

That notwithstanding, (now be honest, how many website use the word, ‘notwithstanding’? None I’ll bet. See the value you’re getting here? Honestly, I really should charge for this.)

Anyway, whether you’re familiar with me or not, as long as you’re here take a tour.

From the menu bar above click on bio, resume, photo gallery, or blog. On the one that says

BBC SERIES and MORE CLIPS, you can view some scenes from my show that ran for six years.

Scroll down to view the trailer of A Lousy 10 Grand. Then you can download the complete film for only $4.99! About the cost of a triple latte. And, like they always say on those annoying TV commercials...

                                                   BUT WAIT!!!  THERE’S MORE!!!

If you go to the film’s web site, alousy10grand.com, you can buy a DVD instead, which I will personally sign and send to you. The price includes the cost of mailing, unlike some of those cheapskates who charge you for postage. What next, they charge you for the gas it takes to get to the post office?

On second thought, considering the fluctuation in fuel prices, that’s not a bad idea.

Speaking of fuel, the Director of Photography on A Lousy 10 Grand, Oktay Ortabasi, has completed his own independent feature film titled, Fuel, which I highly recommend you check

out at, www.fuelmovie.com.

 

                                                                                                                                                             

Had enough? No?! Omigod, okay then quick, to view a montage of a few of my appearances on The Tonight Show with the Daddy of them all, Johnny Carson, then click on Johnny.

Now that you lie there sated and spent, you’re ready for a good read. Check out a couple of books I’ve posted below by friends of mine. The first one is a terrific book about Tom Dreesen and Tim Reid, America’s first, and to my knowledge only, black and white comedy team.

The second by two comedian-writer friends, Mark Schiff and Ritch Shydner, is a highly entertaining book of comics’ road stories. I have one in there but just so you know, it contains what’s called, ‘adult language’. You know, the kind you hear on any elementary school playground.

Thanks for dropping by.

                                                    CONTACT:   info@kellymonteith.com

                                                                                                or

                                                                             kelly@kellymonteith.com